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HarvestMart Launches 'FreshRent' Produce Subscription for the Indecisive Shopper
— Nationwide Desk
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AI Startup Raises $200 Million To Disrupt The Concept Of Having Ideas
— Tech & Innovation Desk
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Area Dog Still Pretending Not To Understand 'Come Here' Command
— Local News Desk
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Neighborhood HOA Bans Clouds For Not Matching Community's Aesthetic
— Community News Desk
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Local Man Shocked to Learn Recycling Bin Not Magical Portal To Sustainability
— Metro Desk
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Scientists Confirm Exercise Works, Nation Responds With Collective Groan
— Health & Science Desk
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White House Unveils Plan to Solve Inflation by Printing Larger Font on Dollar Bills
— Politics Desk
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Apple Announces Revolutionary New iPhone Feature: Actually Works as a Phone
— Technology Desk
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CEO Declares Company a Family, Immediately Asks Cousins to Work Weekends for Free
— Business Satire Desk
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Study Finds 87% of Homeowners Only Clean Right Before Someone Comes Over
— Lifestyle Desk
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NFL to Replace Referees With Twitter Polls for More Democratic Calls
— Sports Satire Desk
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Local Man’s Pickling Obsession Threatens to Drown Neighborhood in Beet Brine
— Lifestyle Desk
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Doctors Recommend Eight Hours of Sleep, Netflix Asks if They're Sure
— Health & Culture Desk
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Des Moines Declares Potholes Official Historical Landmarks
— Metro Satire Desk
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Nation’s Workplaces Begin Mandatory ‘Silent Screaming Breaks’ To Address Rising Stress Levels
— Satire Desk
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Dunkin’ Launches $9.99 Subscription for Customers to Simply Smell Coffee
— Culture Desk
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Glendale’s Smart Trash Cans Demand Citizens Fold Garbage Into Perfect Geometric Shapes
— Tech & Society Desk
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Workers Rally for Real-Life Ctrl+Z to Erase Everyday Blunders
— Office Culture Desk
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Startup Launches 'Aspiration-as-a-Service' to Help People Feel Like They're Working
— Business Desk
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Corporate Memo Warns Employees Not To Attempt Spontaneous Human Interaction Without Prior Approval
— Business Absurdities Desk
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Area Man Proudly Becomes First Person To Finish Entire Streaming Service
— Technology & Culture Desk
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U.S. Town Requires All Residents To Own At Least One Decorative Throw Pillow By 2025
— Satire Desk
