In a dazzling display of civic ingenuity, the Des Moines City Council has unanimously approved a new program that reimagines potholes not as urban nuisances, but as cultural treasures.
Instead of spending millions annually on repairs, the city will now mark every pothole with a bronze commemorative plaque, officially recognizing each one’s “unique contributions to the narrative of municipal life.”
Councilwoman Linda Greevy praised the effort as both practical and profound, revealing the prototype plaque design honoring a crater that had survived since 2019. “If we can’t conquer potholes, we can at least immortalize them,” she declared.
Public Works officials estimate that more than 14,000 potholes are already eligible for recognition, with a select group designated as “Heritage Potholes” for their remarkable longevity. Some, they noted, have outlasted multiple city council terms.
Reactions among residents range from frustration to bemusement. Commuters bemoan the toll on their vehicles, while others admit there’s something oddly poetic about their children learning family history through a hubcap-destroying hole in the driveway.
Tourism boosters are running with the idea, developing a “Pothole Heritage Trail” complete with QR codes linking to historical narration. They envision Des Moines becoming a road-ruin tourism destination to rival Europe’s grandest crumbling relics.
Economists project massive savings from abandoning repair costs, though at the expense of spiking tire blowouts. To offset losses, researchers suggest offering sponsorships, allowing residents to dedicate potholes to loved ones for a fee.
Critics warn the strategy risks public safety, but Greevy brushed off the naysayers, urging citizens to view road damage as art. “Michelangelo embraced the flaws in marble,” she said. “Why, then, should we patch over the living texture of our streets?”
The city will test the initiative on Interstate 235, where early reports indicate drivers are slowing down to admire the plaques—immediately before shedding multiple hubcaps.