The City Council on Friday moved with the urgency of a body finally realizing a calendar existed, unanimously approving an "immediate study" into the phenomenon many residents now call the two‑day work week.
"It was a moment," said Councilmember Avery, who sponsored the motion while consulting a pocket calendar and a fortune cookie. "We need to know: if people only work two days, who changes the lightbulbs on Tuesday night? Do potholes get scheduled? Does the mayor keep office hours or office moods?"
The 7–0 vote launched a process of breathtaking bureaucracy: a three‑person subcommittee, a public forum with a complimentary charcuterie board, and an infographic commission expected to cost less than a bridge but more than two municipal parking meters. Council staff said the review will include "stakeholder outreach" (translation: one Zoom with passionate hashtags and one in‑person encounter with someone who brought a whiteboard).
Residents offered a range of testimony. One local small business owner warned that a compressed week would create "a cascading scheduling catastrophe," while a hedge of interns suggested the city simply automate fun. A man who said he was on his lunch break recommended a pilot program: "We cut the week down and add a ceremonial Tuesday for civic parades."
Policy wonks caution the study will mostly buy time. "They'll set up a timeline, then set up a sub‑timeline," noted an urban planning analyst who asked not to be identified because his job depends on him remaining available. "Expect a public comment period, an advisory panel, and at least one focus group comprised entirely of people who can attend on Wednesdays."
Still, proponents applauded the symbolic value. "It's less about the policy than the act of acknowledging that people are changing how they live," said Councilmember Zhen, clutching a stack of Post‑it notes labeled 'Next Steps.' Critics countered that citizens already live with enough studies: "We have enough white papers to paper the entire city hall," one opponent said, "but apparently not enough to fix the stop sign at Maple and 6th."
For now, nothing about work schedules will change, which staff explained is the whole point. "We need a plan before the plan," explained the council clerk, who has been preparing a checklist entitled 'Plan Plan.' The Council will reconvene at an as‑yet unspecified time to review the subcommittee's findings, the infographic drafts, and an action item titled "Consider Commissioning a Commission."