Edition — September 14, 2025
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City Bistro Ordered to Stop Using Quotation Marks Around 'Pastries'

City Bistro Ordered to Stop Using Quotation Marks Around 'Pastries'

A municipal judge issued a peculiar injunction Wednesday ordering a downtown bistro to remove quotation marks from its menu after a patron argued that the punctuation implied the pastries were not, in fact, pastries.

"I came in for a croissant, not an existential crisis," said the complainant. The judge suggested the business "use commas responsibly" and invited staff to attend a free workshop on honest typography.

The bistro owner agreed to comply but asked whether he would still be allowed to call his 'special' a special.