HENDERSON — In what neighbors described as a "very sincere and definitely-not-impulsive" declaration, local man Mark Henderson announced Monday that he will begin his diet tomorrow, then immediately proceeded to order an extra-large pepperoni pizza for delivery.
"Tomorrow is the day," Henderson told anyone within earshot as he tapped a 2-for-1 coupon into his phone. "I've got a whole plan — meal prep, a subscription to a fitness app, and a very strict rule about only eating salad when I haven't finished two episodes of a show in a row."
Those closest to Henderson said they were touched by his resolve, and also by the way he paired the announcement with selecting extra cheese. "He seemed really committed," said neighbor and longtime friend Carla Montes. "He even Googled 'how to start fasting' on my porch. And then—don't laugh—he went inside and ordered a pizza with stuffed crust. It was very inspiring."
Sources confirm Henderson's plan follows a familiar timeline: enthusiasm on Day 0 (tomorrow), a series of earnest but vague preparations (Day 1), a gentle compromise involving "just one cheat meal" (Day 2), and, by Day 4, an elaborate justification for resuming old eating habits based on the emotional toll of dieting and also whether his phone battery reaches 20 percent.
"I think it helps to make a public announcement," Henderson said while adding garlic knots to his cart. "If people know, I'll be held accountable." When asked who those people were, he gestured at an empty lawn and a squirrel and said, "They'll know. The universe knows."
Experts say Henderson's pattern is common. Dr. Lisa Caldwell, a behavioral nutritionist at the State Wellness Institute, explained that declaring an intention publicly can serve as a motivating ritual, but noted the importance of follow-through. "Verbalizing goals does create a sense of commitment," Caldwell said. "However, without concrete steps — like removing trigger foods or setting realistic milestones — people often revert to comfort behaviors. For many, the pizza is a symbol, not a meal."
Henderson outlined three concrete steps in his plan: buy a blender (pending), sign up for a meal kit (after he checks reviews), and begin walking 10,000 steps daily (starting as soon as the weather improves or next week, whichever comes first). He also announced a backup plan involving a "detox tea" he discovered in an online ad.
"I tried to do the sensible thing and suggested meal-prepping," said roommate Evan Liu. "He replied, 'Yes, for sure — after we finish this extra-large.' I told him you can't meal-prep a pizza. He said you can if you fold it into a container. Great mental model."
Local businesses reported an uptick in deliveries after Henderson's announcement. Ace Pizza owner Rosa Delgado said business was "very good" and noted the irony. "He told me he's starting a diet tomorrow," Delgado said, "and then ordered extra breadsticks. We support healthy choices. This store sells salads too. But we also hand out coupons."
Despite the jokey tone in the neighborhood, friends say they believe Henderson's goal is genuine — if not immediate. "We know he's serious about trying," Montes said. "Just maybe not before halftime."
When pressed for a timeline, Henderson offered a specific and encouraging plan: "I'll start on Monday," he said, consulting a calendar app. "No, actually, next Monday. Unless there's a holiday or a casserole."
By press time, Henderson had scheduled a reminder on his phone for "Start Diet!" with a secondary alarm labeled "Don't order more pizza." After a moment of reflection, he added a third alarm: "Maybe just salad tonight." Then he clicked "Confirm" and placed an order for a large meat-lovers pizza with extra cheese.
"Look, I mean it," he said as delivery confirmation pinged. "I'm committed as soon as this pizza arrives."